I Forgot To Jerk Off Last Night

I got home last night after work and about thirty seconds after I walked in the door my ex-girlfriend showed up to collect her goods. Some files and some other random crap that she had conveniently left at my apartment. I'm quite happy that none of my roommates were home when she was there. I get the feeling that it would have made things a bit more awkward than they already were at that point. Though things were a lot less awkward than I thought they would have been. I asked her if she wanted to have sex at one point, but I immediately chickened out and said I was joking. I'm a pussy. What the fuck do I care? Anyway, she left and I got a whole hour and a half to myself. Rather than jerking off, I watched some tv and when my roommates walked in I went to my bedroom to take a nap. I couldn't deal with them. It was only moments after my head hit the pillow that I was rudely interrupted by "I'm So Pretty" off the West Side Story soundtrack blaring on the stereo. I couldn't take it. I had to say something. Her excuse: The couch dweller has a date and I thought it would help her get ready. She obviously didn't call her the couch dweller, but I thought for anonymity purposes I would leave that out. I went back to my bedroom only to be awoken moments later with their deeply heated debate on what should and should not be talked about on a date. I felt my involvment a necessity. I walked in and contributed as best I could in hopes that they might learn something and get out of my fucking apartment a little bit more often. So CD (Couch Dweller) went on her date. The guy came in. He was wearing no less than three rings on one hand. There is a very creepy feeling about shaking hands with a man who wears that many rings. I can't really put my finger on it, but I don't like it and I immediately judged him for it. They left and I watched tv and ignored my roommate and then went to my bedroom around nine. Shortly after slipping into my bedroom I received a text message from my roommate asking me how to send a letter via the US Postal Service. Just let that linger in your mind a little bit.