The Couch Dweller and the Idiot

The couch dweller has been sleeping on my couch and interrupting my morning routine for going on three weeks now. I was in the habit of doing most of my chores in the fifteen minutes after having eaten my breakfast and before leaving for work in the morning and now that there is someone sleeping on my couch in the middle of my living area it's made getting to some of these tasks a little bit difficult. She is a very attractive, curvy religious freak. It's all very confusing. Last night I convinced her not to become a stripper. It wasn't really one of my proudest moments, but I had smoked quite a bit of pot and there was a good show on television that I didn't really want to miss and she had asked if I would take her. So rather than going to a strip club and watching my attractive, religious roommate quite possibly take her clothes off I convinced her that her morals were more important to her than the money she would need to live, all so I could sit, relax and watch NBC. When the show was over we played Scrabble. She went first. Her first word was god. The dissappointment was overwhelming. At least the game can't get any worse. We can use any words she said. I said fine. What was I going to do? Argue? With a Jesus-lover over Scrabble at 10:00 on a Monday night? The game was already ruined. But I was persistant and played on, though I probably should have packed everything up and went to bed or turned on the tv. During the course of the game she spent the majority of the time texting some guy in San Diego who she claimed had a very hot girlfriend and after every text would exlaim, "He's such a weirdo!" She also managed to smoke two cigarettes and continuously tell me how tired she was when there was a delay in the responses to her texts that she sent out. Obviously, this girl is interested in me. Could I possibly be this dull? This unappealing? You get to a point in your life when it's a struggle to get out of bed in the morning because your life has become pathetic and meaningless. This rendevous really didn't help to alleviate the feeling.
She's moving out in November. I don't know if it will make my life any better. It will just give my roommate that much more reason to try and converse with me. I'm not a fan of her's. She's half-retarded. She makes most conversations painful and I'm not sure if her inability to interpret sarcasm is a blessing for the pleasure I take in confusing her or just unfortunate that we'll never be able to truly establish a meaningful roommate to roommate relationship.